Mastery (i am a bird)

Our Love has died
Now I'm building Altars

Only nothing ever dies
To alter this space in my heart
Where you've been rocking
back and forth

But still

We are calling it quits

And we’re calling it stupid

And beautiful, tragic and miraculous

You want me to come over to eat your food

Maybe fuck

I want me time

Time and space to search this soul

To disentangle

To dance + reinvent myself again this time

With more joy + humility
Magic is the link between us
and it's everywhere
In the patterns underlying what we can see
In the silence between you and me

(Blood Poetry) Rag Time

You don't like me on my ragtime
unless I'm just as sweet as always
Just as sweet as never
You don't need to learn no more
You've got all your favorite stories
And they keep you feeling well entitled
You don't like me on my ragtime
When I stand within my power, when i
tell you my demands
You say I need another man, one who is
obedient
I just need one who gets it

It's pre-fall
Time to prepare for death
My pussy gets it

Your head shakes
in disagreement

'Every woman', are the words you
keep repeating

'Every woman I've dated...'

And you say you've got them lined up
and waiting
to throw themselves at your long-haired,
dime-store-wisdom, deep-dicking

But you shun them for me
Me, who does not eat it up like a starved stray
Me, whose got even more to say

And I teeter somewhere between offended and flattered
Righteous + sure of my path

My blood splattered path

I wish wish wish
We could get out of one another's way
enough to be together

That happens half of the time
and the rest we spend wrapped around our
favored diseased blankets

You don't like me on my ragtime

And for all my power
sometimes I don't either

Love

Love sucks

And without it you'll dry up and die

Love is necessary yet sometimes makes your heart feel like that pile of puke you just passed in the subway tunnel

But you are dramatic-it's that Scorpio moon

So maybe love isn't so bad 

Maybe it's the violence that's causing your nausea this morning

The violence that's been taught and enacted and taught and enacted ad infinitum

Violence isn't the train tracks that we can't help but ride, being the trains that we are

Violence is the outdated lesson plan that hasn't been changed because the teachers are sleep deprived and lifeless because buzzing neon signs advertising the latest action flick shine into their windows all night long

Not to mention the dogs

The dogs are rabid and have learned some shortened version of human language and they prowl the streets at night whispering acronyms, throwing garbage behind them, chewing styrofoam and burning chemicals, years pass and they graduate from their expensive blue jeans sewn overseas to expensive three piece suits stitched by underage Vietnamese, or some of them choose shaved heads and badges

More training for all 

Conducted by sleep-deprived zombies

More neon lights

Fried chicken

Cheap beer

Fake leather

Real leather

Propaganda

Uniforms

For sale

Bright colors 

For spring

Like the colors of blood and guts

Discount stores on every corner 

Blood on every corner

Find your way back to love or you'll dry up and die like puke

Like the rest of em

Justice

Not in the hood
Where the cops do whatever they want
and families are haunted by the bloodstains
in the streets
Where is the justice?
What is Justice in a system where our public servants
murder systematically
Public servants serve the status quo
Racism
Classism
Sexism
What is Justice
I don't know
But I think it's about humanity
and community
and empowering everyone
I think it's about equal access
actual protection from real dangers
not the police definition of guilt,
which is quite often blackness
What is a riot, if not necessary in
the face of systematic silencing?
And what's wrong with breaking things
that have been built to keep people broken?
Where the fuck is justice when the suit meant
to represent it is worn by an unconscious opressor?
It's easy for me to get swept up in my love-healing
work, to hide and close my eyes behind my white privilege
The reality is that no matter what, when the cops are playing
cowboys, wiping out poor neighborhoods as they see fit,
we are all implicated
Senseless violence is senseless violence is senseless violence
Damaging
Homicidal/suicidal/obsession with the lowest experience of existence
stunting evolution, love, community, growth and peace
I don't trust the cops
I don't trust a culture that tells me to kill myself and others in 100 different ways
I don't trust guns
I don't trust traditional uses of words like justice in a system where it's being erased from existence.

oceans of blood

in my belly
organized chaos
all that we say to ourselves
all the nice and nasty things
bodily processes like errands
always find a way of getting done
You are getting old
Not me
I decided after reading Jitterbug Perfume,
To stay young like Alobar
I follow the rules of my own
constitution,
which change everyday
and learn in my evolution
to ignore the rules of you
and you
and you
and still we teach each other
through conquests and calibration
I watch the oranges fall
here in the village sun
they roll and turn to juice
I watch you
spin around the cords that bind you
the strings that keep you tied to your past
and now the tangled web describes your process
My love reborn to what it once was
in my little baby eyes, squished tight between
fat cheeks
All i knew was warmth and ease
until the contractions
until the oxygen filled room
Fluorescent lights
so many bright eyes
expecting
I cried
because of the weight of their inner expectations
and they sighed
Relief
After Savasana
curl up like a bean
feel your feet and your head
remember it's a lie we've been telling about getting dead
We will simply go back to where we came from
one day
and the path will be marked by oceans of blood
I only wish for all that you learn to embrace the flood

sunday/tuesday

no days now just waves of silent blood
will you run from the flood?
no start now just stop
stop
stop
i speak to mother under my feet
and with each step
smooch
smooch
smooch
first there was blood
Chaos
or is it vital sweet rivers of chi
First there was me
then
fire
and so much ease
we fell asleep temporarily
and dreamt this suffering
no hours now just instant
constant creation
plenty

the Moon within

drawing in strength
power
purpose
feeling
Love
Nurtured
Empowered
Sunshine on my skin
Alive
Creative
Aware
Growing
Sharing
Singing
Moving
Dancing
Bearing my soul
Juicy
Enveloped
In Sacred
Synchronicity
You are
invited
to this
Be vulnerable
Be willing
to open up
to the possibility that
we deserve
everything we want
in this life
And it is all
within
our reach

Snow Days

The man selling sage
told me to fuck off
He says black women
are more beautiful
and I don't disagree
There is snow in my mind
and no plows will be coming through
in time it will melt
in the meantime
go fuck yourself
And I will do the same
Money is raining down from
the sky
along with candy
and memories i thought i
long ago exorcised
fill your pockets
fill your fists
It's raining money
and I'm putting roots down
Talk nice to yourself
and I will do the same
Tell yourself the nicest
juicy secret truths
and then maybe
we
bring
the rain

a woman

the winter is slow
and God is a woman
and Woman must rest
our bodies are always working
so i drink wine
and hold you in my arms
watch the sun go down
from in here
where it's warm
watch the world
go round
from in here
where it's warm
i am slow
and the winter is a woman
so god drinks wine
and watches me sleep
hold me in your arms
I will rock your dreams
to be

La Vida

sit still
don't move
this won't hurt a bit
FuCk
Sit STill
Don't Move
This won't hurt a bit
FUck
Sit
Still
Don't
Move
This
Won't
Hurt
A
Bit
Fuck
Move
Don't
Hurt
This
Won't
Still
A
Bit
Fuck
Fuck Still
Don't Hurt
This
Won't
Move a bit
(one more)
Fuck a bit Hurt Still Don't This Won't MOve Sit

Yin

Stomach this
Breast
Fist
I am terrified
and
still exist
Tired
Wide
Split
Wide
Awake
Apart
aren't we all?
A part...
Water Dog
Water Bearer
Sign of love
Sign of humanity
Silence of spring
I don't fall funny
This was never funny
And I don't fall easy anymore
I dive instead
Dunk my head
Then pour soul nectar allover the floor
I don't fall
Pretty anymore
The forever mystery is
What do you see
It's forever because I'll never know
and a long time ago
I was your mother
and i knew what mothers know
I knew you would be my baby for a little while
And then my heart would go wild
in anticipation of the fall
I told you what to do
And you told me where to go
And I knew
As all mothers know
That you would be my baby
Even when you were grown
And you ran like a cat for a mouse
Ran straight out of the house
And all I had was love
for all the complications and misnomers
all of the contradictions and
beauty in your soul
At the beginning, all there was
was love
And in the end
There was only this
Love

manana

Dear PolyamOry,

Fuck you.
I just want to fall in love and
be
completely free
in the honest embrace
of
one other

FeBruary List

wake
move your body
call upon your spirit guides
put on pants
do laundry
make breakfast
make love
make art
look up
go to the office
do what you do for money
do what you do for free
dance
self pleasure
kiss strangers
look your family in their eyes
walk with a hop in your step
sleep
wake

A Matriarch

If you fall asleep missing the dead
reading a book your mother gave you
when you wake up
the dead will be with you
she never really left
but
lets
be
honest
it's her soft porcelain skin
you miss
her audible breath
the kind words she said
sometimes she was nasty
she was a human being
imperfect and rare
a respectable specimen
she hugged like her life
depended on it
so here
is
what you
do
NOW
you say kind words
and you hug
like your life
depends on it
and we'll keep her
spirit alive that way

Poems + ARt

The voice is from a crackling radio at the back of the room
Me and mama dance in the kitchen
While summertime pours in thru open windows
And boys still holding their defenses shuffle back from war
We sing them to sleep
And they can't tell us who won
Because no one ever wins when the victors been decided in advance 
And there was no vote to decide upon the rules
And there was no vote to decide whether or not we go over there to exert will and chase some demented idea
There was no vote
So our boys got trouble sleeping now
But me and ma been dancin in the kitchen ever since before the fighting started
Which is to say before the bogus construct of time
Which is to say me and mama dance on a dime
Henceforth I only fight in rhyme
With fall come 67 new books
Winter brings new languages
And I spin in the heaven of your righteousness
Nothing's wrong that lives
Nothing's wrong that gives
20,000 years later boys on the train try in vein to to feign importance through the memorization of sneaker types
No more night lights
No more love with a lower case l
Only uppercase
You seen those Jordan's nikes cons adidas
You're feelin it!
Spinning brain ejaculating sheathe thinning toward the darkness and light
Spinning veil thinning heart ejaculates into the light
I am yours I belong to you
My heart a winged creature
Flutters bloody
Your heart, a power tool
I will only fight in art from now on
There comes a point when sense, pure common sense, no longer makes sense
And
The
Time
Is
Now
Is what me and mama used to say, dancing on the dirt floor of the kitchen.

Grow NYC, Hesitates to take a stand against fracking or GMOs.

The word around the Union Square Farmer's Market is that one of the participating famers has leased their land to a Fracking company.

I sat in on a Grow NYC committee meeting today and was disgusted and confused when the majority of committee members refused to pass a motion (suggested by one farmer) that Grow NYC take a stand against Fracking by not allowing any farmers into the market who have leased their land. The complacent bureaucrats in a manner typical of those who have been watered down by a corrupt system, hemmed and hawed and said we just don't know enough to "punish" farmers whose land/water/product may be contaminated. I highly suggest we all be really hyper vigilant about where our food is coming from.
You may not be aware that not all products sold at the Union Square Farmers market are organic. In the interest of a bottom line, $, those in charge are compromising their integrity. The committee has also hesitated to take a clear stand on GMO's.
Unbelievably, one member suggested that any statement made publicly about GMO's or Fracking should be kept "vague", to which most of the room agreed.
Ask the farmer you are buying from if they have leased their land to gas companies or if their neighbors have, ask if they are organic and if they use GMO seeds/crops.

It seems that GrowNYC enjoys playing itself off as an all around eco-friendly organization while behind closed doors, you can easily learn, as I did today that this is not the reality. Don't get me wrong, I will give credit where credit is due, they are doing many great green things, just as long as they don't rock the boat or question the almighty authority of the destructive status quo.

We, as consumers can make a difference in the market by raising our consciousness and demanding, especially at a place like the farmer's market, where you are likely to be face to face with the grower/producer what it is we want and need. If you value clean water, air, and food, use your voice, ask GrowNYC to take a stand for what is obviously right and best for the quality of life for farmers, consumers and all living things.