Mastery (i am a bird)

Our Love has died
Now I'm building Altars

Only nothing ever dies
To alter this space in my heart
Where you've been rocking
back and forth

But still

We are calling it quits

And we’re calling it stupid

And beautiful, tragic and miraculous

You want me to come over to eat your food

Maybe fuck

I want me time

Time and space to search this soul

To disentangle

To dance + reinvent myself again this time

With more joy + humility
Magic is the link between us
and it's everywhere
In the patterns underlying what we can see
In the silence between you and me

(Blood Poetry) Rag Time

You don't like me on my ragtime
unless I'm just as sweet as always
Just as sweet as never
You don't need to learn no more
You've got all your favorite stories
And they keep you feeling well entitled
You don't like me on my ragtime
When I stand within my power, when i
tell you my demands
You say I need another man, one who is
obedient
I just need one who gets it

It's pre-fall
Time to prepare for death
My pussy gets it

Your head shakes
in disagreement

'Every woman', are the words you
keep repeating

'Every woman I've dated...'

And you say you've got them lined up
and waiting
to throw themselves at your long-haired,
dime-store-wisdom, deep-dicking

But you shun them for me
Me, who does not eat it up like a starved stray
Me, whose got even more to say

And I teeter somewhere between offended and flattered
Righteous + sure of my path

My blood splattered path

I wish wish wish
We could get out of one another's way
enough to be together

That happens half of the time
and the rest we spend wrapped around our
favored diseased blankets

You don't like me on my ragtime

And for all my power
sometimes I don't either

Love

Love sucks

And without it you'll dry up and die

Love is necessary yet sometimes makes your heart feel like that pile of puke you just passed in the subway tunnel

But you are dramatic-it's that Scorpio moon

So maybe love isn't so bad 

Maybe it's the violence that's causing your nausea this morning

The violence that's been taught and enacted and taught and enacted ad infinitum

Violence isn't the train tracks that we can't help but ride, being the trains that we are

Violence is the outdated lesson plan that hasn't been changed because the teachers are sleep deprived and lifeless because buzzing neon signs advertising the latest action flick shine into their windows all night long

Not to mention the dogs

The dogs are rabid and have learned some shortened version of human language and they prowl the streets at night whispering acronyms, throwing garbage behind them, chewing styrofoam and burning chemicals, years pass and they graduate from their expensive blue jeans sewn overseas to expensive three piece suits stitched by underage Vietnamese, or some of them choose shaved heads and badges

More training for all 

Conducted by sleep-deprived zombies

More neon lights

Fried chicken

Cheap beer

Fake leather

Real leather

Propaganda

Uniforms

For sale

Bright colors 

For spring

Like the colors of blood and guts

Discount stores on every corner 

Blood on every corner

Find your way back to love or you'll dry up and die like puke

Like the rest of em

Justice

Not in the hood
Where the cops do whatever they want
and families are haunted by the bloodstains
in the streets
Where is the justice?
What is Justice in a system where our public servants
murder systematically
Public servants serve the status quo
Racism
Classism
Sexism
What is Justice
I don't know
But I think it's about humanity
and community
and empowering everyone
I think it's about equal access
actual protection from real dangers
not the police definition of guilt,
which is quite often blackness
What is a riot, if not necessary in
the face of systematic silencing?
And what's wrong with breaking things
that have been built to keep people broken?
Where the fuck is justice when the suit meant
to represent it is worn by an unconscious opressor?
It's easy for me to get swept up in my love-healing
work, to hide and close my eyes behind my white privilege
The reality is that no matter what, when the cops are playing
cowboys, wiping out poor neighborhoods as they see fit,
we are all implicated
Senseless violence is senseless violence is senseless violence
Damaging
Homicidal/suicidal/obsession with the lowest experience of existence
stunting evolution, love, community, growth and peace
I don't trust the cops
I don't trust a culture that tells me to kill myself and others in 100 different ways
I don't trust guns
I don't trust traditional uses of words like justice in a system where it's being erased from existence.

oceans of blood

in my belly
organized chaos
all that we say to ourselves
all the nice and nasty things
bodily processes like errands
always find a way of getting done
You are getting old
Not me
I decided after reading Jitterbug Perfume,
To stay young like Alobar
I follow the rules of my own
constitution,
which change everyday
and learn in my evolution
to ignore the rules of you
and you
and you
and still we teach each other
through conquests and calibration
I watch the oranges fall
here in the village sun
they roll and turn to juice
I watch you
spin around the cords that bind you
the strings that keep you tied to your past
and now the tangled web describes your process
My love reborn to what it once was
in my little baby eyes, squished tight between
fat cheeks
All i knew was warmth and ease
until the contractions
until the oxygen filled room
Fluorescent lights
so many bright eyes
expecting
I cried
because of the weight of their inner expectations
and they sighed
Relief
After Savasana
curl up like a bean
feel your feet and your head
remember it's a lie we've been telling about getting dead
We will simply go back to where we came from
one day
and the path will be marked by oceans of blood
I only wish for all that you learn to embrace the flood

sunday/tuesday

no days now just waves of silent blood
will you run from the flood?
no start now just stop
stop
stop
i speak to mother under my feet
and with each step
smooch
smooch
smooch
first there was blood
Chaos
or is it vital sweet rivers of chi
First there was me
then
fire
and so much ease
we fell asleep temporarily
and dreamt this suffering
no hours now just instant
constant creation
plenty

the Moon within

drawing in strength
power
purpose
feeling
Love
Nurtured
Empowered
Sunshine on my skin
Alive
Creative
Aware
Growing
Sharing
Singing
Moving
Dancing
Bearing my soul
Juicy
Enveloped
In Sacred
Synchronicity
You are
invited
to this
Be vulnerable
Be willing
to open up
to the possibility that
we deserve
everything we want
in this life
And it is all
within
our reach